Relationships aren’t always easy. Going on regular dates and attentive listening can help you strengthen your relationship. But practicing self-care can be beneficial as well.
You and your partner might lose your spark in a long-term relationship, leading to wondering how to keep your partner interested in you.
The days can seem mundane and boring, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. You can do things to keep your partner interested and keep your relationship going.
Feeling stagnant in your relationship can cause you to put your energy into something else. When this happens, it can disrupt your relationship health and can make you feel like your partner is uninterested. Making a change can prevent the distance you feel from growing.
Prioritizing your relationship can help you improve the situation and find ways to bond. Keeping your relationship interesting can help you keep the spark alive and process any issues.
1. Go on regular dates
Dating your partner is one of the best ways to keep them interested and invested in the relationship. It helps you build a connection and make memories together. You can decide on a regular date night each week or surprise your partner with a special night out.
2. Spend time by yourself
You might be surprised to hear that spending time away from your partner can help keep them interested. Spending time alone means you can learn, grow, and foster your interests.
Relationship coach Laura Doyle suggests focusing on yourself because happy people attract happiness. Doing things that bring joy can make your partner more interested in you and the relationship.
Spending time alone encourages a sense of newness to help keep things interesting. It always gives your partner a chance to wonder and learn about you when you spend time without them. It also allows you to focus on self-care.
Self-care might involve treating yourself or taking care of your mind and body. You can take care of yourself by focusing on what you enjoy best, and it’s different for everyone.
3. Go back to where you had your first date
You can remind your partner of why they fell for you by revisiting the location of your first date. The place likely brings back fond memories for both of you. It can help your partner feel how they did when you first started spending time together.
4. Focus on communication
Communication is one of the essential aspects of keeping your partner invested in the relationship. Consider telling them how you feel when it seems they’re losing interest. It’s the quickest way to address the disconnect and find a way to overcome it.
Try to remember that effective communication requires staying calm and trying to avoid offending your partner. You can be honest while expressing love and kindness.
5. Laugh together
Laughing with your partner can help you bond and strengthen your relationship. You can find new things to laugh about or bring up old memories that make you laugh. When you find ways to laugh with your partner, you’ll find more happiness and fulfillment in your relationship.
6. Get away together
Consider planning a getaway with your partner for a night or weekend. Going on a romantic getaway can help strengthen your bond and renew the spark.
While it won’t solve major issues, it can help keep your partner interested and invested in the relationship. Studies from 2020 show that spending quality time with your partner can improve overall satisfaction, so getting away together ensures you have the chance.
7. Try to understand each other
Understanding your partner’s needs can help you keep them interested. It’s important that you also keep your needs in mind. Your partner should want to understand you as much as you want to understand them.
Understanding each other can help you focus on positivity and acknowledge issues in your relationship. It can help foster a connection and encourage communication.
Maintain an open mind when your partner talks to you so that you can understand their mindset. They might not always think the same way you do, and understanding can help.
8. Listen to Them
2018 research suggests that listening to your partner shows them that you care about what’s going on in their life. While daily distractions can interfere with how well you listen, try to be present when your partner speaks.
You may consider stopping scrolling social media and putting down your phone to show your partner that you hear them and want to know about their life.
9. Remind them why they fell for you
Reminding your partner why they fell for you can help with reigniting passion and interest in your relationship. Do things you used to do together at the beginning of your relationship or when you are happiest. Reconnecting could involve:
spending quality time alone together
watching a movie that you saw together in the past
doing an activity you used to do together
10. Be their place for peace and comfort
Your partner might seem disinterested if they don’t feel like they can talk with you about everything. You can focus on being a place of peace and comfort in their life, letting them know they can come to you about anything.
How to cope if you think your partner is losing interest
Feeling like your partner is losing interest can be hard to accept. But there are things you can try to cope with the situation, including:
Remembering your worth
Rather than focusing on if your partner is losing interest, you can shift your thoughts to your sense of self-worth. Consider how you feel about yourself, and, if necessary, adjust your thoughts to focus on positivity.
Learning about the cycle of abuse
If you’re in an abusive relationship, you might think your partner is losing interest. But abusive relationships often involve cycles of abuse followed by positive behavior before the cycle restarts. If this is the case for you, coping might involve moving on and remembering that you deserve better.
Engaging in hobbies or other outlets
Fixating on your partner losing interest in the relationship can disrupt your coping. Consider spending time engaging in your hobbies or finding another outlet that brings happiness to your life. It is a form of self-care that many people forget.
Building a healthy attachment
Licensed psychologist Dr. David Helfand, PsyD, explains that a healthy attachment can help your partner feel safe and secure in the relationship. You can show them that you’re there for them, which can encourage them to share their needs, worries, and thoughts, according to a 2017 review.
Talking with a professional
A therapist can help you work through your feelings and understand the situation. They can validate your emotions in a safe, judgment-free place.
Remember that it might not have anything to do with you
Your partner might seem disinterested in the relationship because they’re stressed or overwhelmed about something else. They might have issues with their career or health, which manifests as seeming disinterested.
Communicating your concerns
Dating expert Liam Barnett suggests talking with your partner about how you feel. Talking about it can help you “See where they’re standing within the relationship. This way, you’ll have a better understanding as to why you got the impression they’re losing interest and what’s the next best step to take.”